If you were able to be a fly on the wall as I meet with clients you’d quickly realize something significant. Many of my clients share a common struggle.
While the outside circumstances are different, on the inside most of us feel like we don’t fit in. We experience this in different ways and to different degrees. But 99% of us share this feeling to one extent or another:
“I am a square peg in a round hole.”
- you are the introvert in a family of extraverts
- you are the PC in a place full of Macs
- you are loud and outgoing in quiet office
- you are a team player in the capital of individualism
- you are athletic in a family of musicians
- you are a liberal in a group full of conservatives
- you are the tall girl in a group of petite friends
- you are the sensitive son while your brothers are boisterous and rowdy
- you are timid and cautious in a group of risk takers
- you are an average student in a class of overachievers
- you like to work with your hands but your siblings are all intellectuals
- you love to talk about ideas in an office of doers
- you dislike competition in a workplace where winning is the only goal
- you value commitment to faith in a family that does not acknowledge faith
- you love going to work in a community of stay at home moms
- you decide to be the stay at home dad in the neighborhood of suits
- you are carefree and unstructured in a classroom of organized students
- you love heavy metal when those around you love country
The secret of the square peg round hole is that most of us feel like the square peg.
The real pathway to growth is not trying to get rid of the feeling that we don’t fit in. It’s accepting that we are different and learning to value ourselves and our differences. Our best selves emerge when our energy goes away from our insecure feelings of not fitting in and towards learning to value what we bring to each situation.
Our square peg is awesome for that round hole.