There’s a big difference between exterior and interior focuses in relationships. You’ll hear some well intentioned exterior relationship advice:
- go on a date night every week
- establish a budget and then live by it
- share your checking account, don’t have individual accounts
- don’t have a television in the bedroom
Some of these things may be useful, but in reality the interior focus matters far more than the exterior:
- intentionally work on growing as an individual and a couple
- commit to cultivating your relationship over time
- practice loyalty and commitment in your relationship
- value your own thoughts and ideas as well as your spouses
- resolve conflict by being willing to be vulnerable and take risks
- be a student in your relationship, learning about your partner and what makes them tick
The first list may help you. But the second list is what really matters.
Don’t settle for the surface. The interior focus is what makes strong individuals and relationships.