I spent an hour with a couple this week. One of them quickly identified the living above the line challenge:
The problem is it feels SO vulnerable.
They didn’t say it out loud, but what they meant was this: if I live above the line, I may be hurt and rejected by those closest to me. I’m scared to live above the line.
Blame, resentment, justification, and rightness are defenses to protect us from relationship risks. Living below the line can FEEL safe. Living above the line is a HUGE risk.
Life without these defenses is risky. There is no question about it. And there are no guarantees that we won’t be hurt, rejected, or disappointed.
Living above the line is the only way to develop trust and intimacy with those around us.
Living below the line is a cycle of death. Living above the line leads to true life. Even a life that includes the risk of rejection.