Many clients come to therapy trying to solve a problem that is inherently unfixable. We don’t want to believe that some problems can’t be fixed. But in the real world there are many problems over which we simply don’t have any control. We still want to fix these problems. The truth is the world is […]

The recordings in our minds are often the problem we need to address to grow. We all have to deal with them. Clients that struggle with anxiety often hear the same kind of message: “My anxiety feels like a sign of weakness.” Our image of strength is self-assured, confidant, and decisive. Anxiety feels like the […]

Pain hurts. But it is also a gift. Pain is helpful for understanding what is happening beneath the surface. Naturally, we work hard to avoid feeling pain. Who wants to feel disappointment, loneliness, heartbreak, insecurity, or anxiety? But the reality is that pain is part of who we are. When we avoid it we cut […]

When Steve Jobs was approaching 30 he was asked a question by an interviewer for Playboy magazine: “Do you know what you want to do with the rest of your life?” Jobs answered: There’s an old Hindu saying that comes into my mind occasionally: “For the first 30 years of your life, you make your […]

In 1987, I was an education major at James Madison University. In one of my classes, Psychology of the Pre-Adolescent/Adolescent Child, I remember reading about a study that shapes me even to this day. The study observed children on a playground. Researchers watched changes in the children’s behavior when a fence surrounding the playground was […]