We spend a lot of time looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right. If we find him or her, we are convinced that we will be happy, joyous, and free. And life will be easy. We will live happily ever after. I spent many of my early years of marriage thinking [...]read more

Carol Dweck has spent most of her almost 70 year life researching motivation. Her work on fixed vs. growth mindset has been helpful for many. In short: Fixed = ability and talent have been fixed, I have a certain innate amount and that determines how successful or not I will [...]read more

Yesterday my parents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. Fifty years is a long time. Greg and I have been married half that long, and that feels like a long time. It’s one thing to simply tolerate each other for 50 years, but my parents have done far more than tolerate [...]read more

Common Humanity is the third component of self-compassion. We are reminded of our common humanity on days like today. In the face of crises we can feel connected quickly and easily. Most of the time it isn’t that easy though. Self-compassion involves recognizing that suffering and personal inadequacy is part [...]read more

It’s easy to be hard on ourselves. Self-criticism, judgment, and negative self-talk can become the norm in the space between our ears. The first step in changing this pattern is becoming mindful of it. Once we are aware, we can begin to change. Once we are aware, we can practice [...]read more