Kristin Neff describes the three fundamentals of self-compassion: mindfulness, self-kindness, and common humanity. Developing self-compassion is an important practice for anyone who wants to grow. We can spend a lot of energy judging ourselves. This judgment stunts our growth. The practice of mindfulness, allows us to become aware of what we are experiencing as we […]

I feel insecure about my ability to make small talk at parties, especially when I don’t know most of the other guests. I can feel awkward and struggle to know how to initiate conversations with others. Sometimes even when I am talking to someone I feel self conscious about how uninteresting I am. Or I […]

Most of our inner work is learning to relate to ourselves and to others in more healthy ways. We all have a series of unhealthy patterns that we developed over many years. Growing is often recognizing these patterns and learning to change the way we react. Edmund Bourne describes five ways that we interact with […]

When I am feeling tension in a relationship my mind naturally brings to my attention all the ways that the other person is contributing to the problems between us. The easier course in a relationship struggle is to blame. We typically think it’s the other person’s fault. In most struggles, the responsibility is closer to […]

It’s easy to make things good vs. bad. We do it with everything from politics and religion to how our children play youth sports. We also do it internally, judging ourselves for our thoughts and feelings. We have a lot of “I shouldn’ts” and “I shoulds” that show up. Dualism is when we always have […]