Being Gracious With Myself

Recently I was describing to a client the way I think about something that I do. After I related a typical conversation that I have with myself, he commented, “you are really gracious with yourself.” I was glad that he noticed that. It hasn’t always been that way. I’ve worked [...]read more

Growth Skill: Mindsight

As I sit with clients, I often ask these questions: • What do you notice? • What thoughts are showing up? • Are you aware of any emotions you are feeling? • What sensations are you experiencing in your body? I’m asking them to pay attention to what is happening [...]read more

Loss, Grief, and Pain
Grief, loss, and pain

A year ago yesterday, my sister-in-law died. No warning, no notice, no chance to say goodbye. For 22 years we shared life and a family. Over those years we developed a deep connection. Losing her has left a significant void in my life. A hole that hasn’t been filled. As [...]read more

Killer Perfectionism

“Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.” Brené Brown The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and [...]read more

Dealing With The Unfixable

Many clients come to therapy trying to solve a problem that is inherently unfixable. We don’t want to believe that some problems can’t be fixed. But in the real world there are many problems over which we simply don’t have any control. We still want to fix these problems. The [...]read more